A Practical Guide to Pettiness

The most forgiving person in the world is a guy with Alzheimer’s. To stay mad at someone, you need an excellent memory, and mine is so bad I can’t even recall family birthdays. At one point, people used to take offense. “You didn’t remember my kid’s birthday,” said my cousin Zubair.“I’m sorry, man.” I didn’t […]

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Valid Reasons to Attend a Wedding

I got married to a woman who has single friends, which equals future weddings we have to attend. Since my own friends are ugly, I have never had to worry about attending weddings. But now that I am married, my wife’s friends are mine as well. It is a strange friendship where you have all […]

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We Should Tell More Lies

My best friend loves that I, too, have read all the Harry Potter books. I love that all it took was reading plot summaries on Wikipedia to convince her of that. From fighting wars to binging mind-numbing pop culture junk, so much of what we do is for social approval and status. But why achieve […]

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Perks of Being a Black Sheep

When my brother was young, he made the mistake of making our parents proud. You get nothing by making others proud, especially when you’re young. He got showered with praise for getting the top marks in grade 3 but had to put up with the pressure of heightened expectations for the rest of his life. […]

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